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DANIEL BEDINGFIELD –“If You’re Not The One”
#943, 7th December 2002 There’s a trope – more apocryphal than actually seen, these days – of the serious songwriter who dismisses the crap in the charts as mere formula and hints that, were they so...
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EMINEM –“Lose Yourself”
#944, 14th December 2002 There’s a convention in DC Comics – started by Frank Miller with Batman in the mid-80s – of “Year One” stories. You take an established character and rewind back to the...
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BLUE ft ELTON JOHN –“Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word”
#945, 21st December 2002 Blue’s last Number One, and any wisps of street credibility which might have still clung to them melt away. Don’t be fooled by the off-the-peg R&B shuffle in the best: just...
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GIRLS ALOUD –“Sound Of The Underground”
#946, 28th December 2002 Looked at one way, this had to happen. Reality TV pop shows weren’t going away. Lightning had struck for Hear’Say, then again for Liberty X, then so often for Pop Idol that...
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Last time we did one of these Obama was president, so a quick reminder is probably due – I give every Number One a mark out of 10. This is where YOU get the opportunity to vote on which hits you’d have...
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DAVID SNEDDON –“Stop Living The Lie”
#947, 25th January 2003 One possible reason Popstars’ producers risked an unconventional song with Girls Aloud: the show itself had competition. The BBC approached the reality TV era warily, but there...
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T.A.T.U. –“All The Things She Said”
#948, 8th February 2003 Nobody could claim that time and changing norms have rendered t.A.T.u. problematic; they were glaringly, undeniably skeevy from the off. Executive producer Ivan Shapovalov – who...
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CHRISTINA AGUILERA –“Beautiful”
#949, 8th March 2003 One of the notable things about “Beautiful” is that having written it, Linda Perry wanted to keep it for a proposed solo career – it was one of her “personal” songs. So the...
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GARETH GATES ft THE KUMARS –“Spirit In The Sky”
#950, 22nd March 2003 This is Comic Relief getting back to its roots – a familiar song, disrupted by the comic turn. I never watched the Kumars, and the clips I looked at for research don’t make me...
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ROOM 5 ft OLIVER CHEATHAM –“Make Luv”
#951, 5th April 2003 The sound of a subgenre on its deathbed. We’ve had some good times with filter-disco, or French touch, or whatever you want to call this woozy sound. At its best the filter effect...
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BUSTED –“You Said No”
#952, 3rd May 2003 While Busted enjoy a warm second career on the reformation circuit, time hasn’t always been kind to the hairy-palmed pop-punk they kicked off with. The line between cheekiness and...
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TOMCRAFT –“Loneliness”
#953, 10th May 2003 Andrea Martin’s “Share Your Love” is an attractively crafted 1998 R&B tune about loving a philanderer. She opens with a sad idea, “Happiness seems to be loneliness, and...
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R. KELLY –“Ignition (Remix)”
#954, 17th May 2003 So here we are. In 2014, when I wrote the entry for “I Believe I Can Fly”, acknowledging the monstrousness of R Kelly, I had plans to make this piece some sort of grand follow-up....
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EVANESCENCE –“Bring Me To Life”
#955, 14th June 2003 Corporate rock, a vignette: the label wanted Evanescence to add a male co-vocalist all through their debut album. The band said no, and so a compromise was met – Amy Lee would be...
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BEYONCÉ –“Crazy In Love”
#956, 12th July 2003 History in the making,” says Jay-Z in the intro, and he’s been proven right. As I’ve said before, there’s a temptation with Beyoncé to treat her big moments as inevitable steps in...
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DANIEL BEDINGFIELD –“Never Gonna Leave Your Side”
#957, 2nd August 2003 To make one Westlife-esque ballad may be regarded as a misfortune. To make two looks like… a bad mistake, as it turned out. Songwriting cameos aside, this is the last we see of...
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BLU CANTRELL ft SEAN PAUL –“Breathe”
#958, 9th August 2003 Dancehall stars have found many routes into the UK mainstream – cover versions and ads; tie-ups with hot producers; hardcore or controversial lyrics; or just basic novelty. Sean...
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ELTON JOHN –“Are You Ready For Love?”
#959, 6th September 2003 Elton John’s best moment at number one comes with a forgotten track from a barely-noticed late-70s EP, lucked onto years later by someone in Sky Sports’ ad agency, remixed...
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THE BLACK EYED PEAS ft JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE –“Where Is The Love?”
#960, 13th September 2003 The album the Black Eyed Peas put out before Elephunk featured DJ Premier beats and Mos Def and De La Soul guest spots. The album after it featured “My Humps”. Perhaps there...
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SUGABABES –“Hole In The Head”
#961, 25th October 2003 “Hole In The Head” has three tough acts to follow. “Overload”, the one which perfectly introduced the Sugababes and their core idea – talk-to-the-hand teenage moodiness as a...
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FATMAN SCOOP ft CROOKLYN CLAN –“Be Faithful”
#962, 1st November 2003 The NME once put Public Enemy on the cover with the strapline “The Hardest Working Man In Yo! Business” – you feel Fatman Scoop might fancy a shot at that title. It’s not so...
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KYLIE MINOGUE –“Slow”
#963, 15th November 2003 I’m raising money for domestic violence charity Refuge by running a People’s Pop Poll on Twitter, which starts in May. If you can spare any money, please consider donating (and...
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BUSTED –“Crashed The Wedding”
#964, 22nd November 2003 “You Said No” was an uneven mix of Busted’s charms and their weaknesses; “Crashed The Wedding” is all upside. All of Busted’s singles so far have played like episodes in the...
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WESTLIFE –“Mandy”
#965, 26th November 2003 The tears are on their mind and nothing is rhyming. Sometime between previous single “Hey Whatever!” – a very non-Imperial number 4 – and this cover version, Brian McFadden...
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WILL YOUNG –“Leave Right Now”
#966, 6th December 2003 Eg White, the songwriter on “Leave Right Now”, had an intriguing half-career out in the far suburbs of British pop. His album as part of Eg And Alice, 24 Years Of Hunger, has...
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SUGABABES –“Round Round”
#933, 24th August 2002 Xenomania – the songwriting and production team on “Round Round”, led by Miranda Cooper and Brian Higgins – defined 00s British pop, at least in the eyes of chart-friendly...
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BLAZIN’ SQUAD –“Crossroads”
#934, 31st August 2002 If Blazin’ Squad had never existed, would it have been necessary to invent them? You suspect record labels would have given it a so-solid try: a hydra-headed rapping crew, but...
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ATOMIC KITTEN –“The Tide Is High (Get The Feeling)”
#935, 7th September 2002 Sometimes when this project stalls it’s because there’s a song too tricky or terrible to write about. You might think that’s the case here: it’s not. “The Tide Is High (Got The...
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PINK –“Just Like A Pill”
#936, 28th September 2002 At the time, I didn’t warm to Pink’s overt rebrand. For one thing, the brusque R&B singer of “You Make Me Sick” already seemed fierce, and fierce in a more interesting way...
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GARETH GATES AND WILL YOUNG –“The Long And Winding Road”
#937, 5th October 2002 Let’s imagine a world – apparently this is a good idea – where the Beatles never existed, and where “The Long And Winding Road” exists only in this form, as a slow ballad duet...
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LAS KETCHUP –“Asereje (The Ketchup Song)”
#938, 19th October 2002 A throwback to simpler times – the European novelty hit that spreads across the continent, sparking the dry tinder of holiday nostalgia, reaching Britain in time for bonfire...
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Hello Popular readers! After sixteen years, and suffering from (as you’ll have noticed) a much slower posting rate, I’ve come to a decision. I’m going to crowdfund this project, using Patreon. HERE’S...
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NELLY ft KELLY ROWLAND –“Dilemma”
#939, 26th October 2002 Nelly spent some of the year before his second LP dropped in a beef with the perennially grumpy KRS-One. The feud was not a dignified one. KRS-One called out pop-rap in general,...
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DJ SAMMY & YANOU ft DO –“Heaven”
#940, 9th November 2002 Before writing this entry I scoured the Internet to see if DJ Sammy had ever said or done anything interesting. I drew a blank. He’s the model of a jobbing Euro-DJ, lucky enough...
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WESTLIFE –“Unbreakable”
#941, 16th November 2002 They’re perhaps not intended to be, but Greatest Hits albums are often a sign of a band’s waning vitality, a signal to the fans that the group are moving to an autumnal phase,...
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CHRISTINA AGUILERA ft REDMAN –“Dirrty”
#942, 23rd November 2002 Christina Aguilera’s album title, Stripped, has an obvious double-meaning, one she’s been keen to point out to interviewers. Stripping off, yes, clearly, but also stripping...
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OZZY AND KELLY OSBOURNE –“Changes”
#967, 20th December 2003 From one reality TV hit to another – “Changes” wouldn’t have existed without The Osbournes, an everyday story of a loveably decayed rock star and his no-bullshit manager-wife....
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GARY JULES ft MICHAEL ANDREWS –“Mad World”
#968, 27th December 2003 Mental illness and pop music are hardly strangers, but few bands made it as central to their work as Tears For Fears, named after a concept minted by experimental psychiatrist...
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MICHELLE McMANUS –“All This Time”
#969, 17th January 2004 Each reality TV show number one so far asked and answered different questions about the format, as it grew and mutated well beyond its originators’ designs. Hear’Say were a...
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LMC ft U2 –“Take Me To The Clouds Above”
#970, 7th February 2004 Legend has it that when U2 were finished making The Joshua Tree, they went to Kirsty MacColl, and asked her how the album should be sequenced. MacColl put the tracks in the...
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SAM & MARK –“With A Little Help From My Friends”
#971, 21st February 2004 Sam Nixon and Mark Rhodes are one of the genuine success stories of reality TV pop. From the neutral’s perspective a large part of that success is that after this brief fling...
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BUSTED –“Who’s David?”
#972, 28th February 2004 Busted’s success belied an identity crisis. This manifested most obviously in Charlie Busted’s visible discomfort at playing the early funny stuff (let alone the later funny...
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PETER ANDRE –“Mysterious Girl”
#973, 6th March 2004 The history of number ones is a history of answers to the question – “Who has the power to make hit records happen?” The labels? Radio stations? TV? The fans? Balances shift this...
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BRITNEY SPEARS –“Toxic”
#974, 13th March 2004 The first thing you notice about “Toxic” is the strings – urgent, stabbing, a shock of treble. The string bursts compress a riff into a couple of seconds, turning its curling...
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DJ CASPER –“Cha Cha Slide”
#975, 20th March 2004 “Land Of 1000 Dances” is not a census, it’s a promise – that as long as there is music and there are dancefloors, fresh dances will be found. The pleasure of so much pop lies in...
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USHER ft LIL JON & LUDACRIS –“Yeah”
#976, 27th March 2004 We’ve got used to seeing R&B singers in command of their tracks – the beats and music arranging themselves around a star’s performance, discreetly ensuring the best possible...
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MCFLY –“5 Colours In Her Hair”
#977, 10th April 2004 McFly were Busted friends and affiliates, and refreshed the earlier band’s ailing formula with sixties pixie dust – chanted do-do-doo harmonies and a sunshine disposition...
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EAMON –“F**k It (I Don’t Want You Back)”
#978, 24th April 2004 “Swear Word Song Hits Number One” ran the BBC News Headline, and as summaries go, it does the job. By 2004 standards, 4 weeks at Number 1 felt endless: no denying “Fuck It” was...
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FRANKEE –“F.U.R.B (F U Right Back)”
#979, 22nd May 2004 “Answer? I hardly know ‘er!” – hard not to feel for Eamon having his hit both confirmed as a novelty so immediately and gazumped so effectively. Whether Frankee and Eamon were exes...
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MARIO WINANS ft ENYA & P DIDDY –“I Don’t Wanna Know”
#980, 12th June 2004 If the hits of 2004 have a theme, perhaps it’s men’s hurt feelings. Busted, Eamon, Mario, and more to come, like a damburst of male confusion, spite and woe. The year’s most...
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